Peters said it is easy for parents to be confused about their pre-teen and teenage children's behavior if they forget the emotional highs and lows they went through at that age.

When asked what she thought the biggest communication hindrance was between parents and their children, Clare Ruysen educational program coordinator at CLEAN, said, “I think a lot of it is lack of understanding by the parents as to kids these days.”

Ruysen went on to explain that parents lack the knowledge of how to parent their teen when they misbehave. Oftentimes, she said, there is no consistency when administering punishment for bad behavior, and the parent ends up being more of a friend than a parent.

When thinking back to when they were in their teen years, many parents said they were not faced with the same problems their children are.

One parent expressed her concern that the world has become too small to where children are now concerned about their future, politics and other matters that never crossed her mind at that age.

Peters said that because of this, parents must make their expectations of their children clear at an earlier stage. She said teen trends in the community are changing to include reckless behavior involving substance abuse and gangs.

Both Ruysen and Peters advocate family meetings to draw up contracts for guidelines and boundaries between the parents and teens. This is important so both teens and parents know “exactly what to expect and when [guidelines] need to be adjusted.”

“We have to make time for family time,” Peters told the parents. “If we don’t, we end up with behavioral factors.”

Bothersome behaviors parents listed about their teens were disrespect, copying language and behavior seen on television, deliberately argumentative, lack of gratitude, no accountability and blaming others.

Peters explained that most of these reactions are defense mechanisms due to changes in hormones. Peters reasserted that such bad behavior can not always be attributed to the teen, but the hormonal changes. The teenage years are a difficult time for all teens trying to figure out who they are, she said.

“Kids are asking themselves who their parents are, do [their parents] have all the right answers,” said Peters.

Often they find that they may have different opinions and values than their parents.

The most consistent piece of advice Ruysen said she gives to parents is “Listen, listen, listen. Take more time. Pay attention to details.”

CLEAN, Inc. is a non-profit in Winchester providing leadership through education, advocacy, and networking for a safe, healthy, and drug-free community.